1-Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
2-What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
3-The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
4-Q: What does a blonde owl say?
5-A: What, what?
6-WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
7-What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
Free SMS Jokes
8-Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
9-Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
10-What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!
11-What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors
12-Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
13-A: Her IQ goes up.
14-Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!
15-Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
16-I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.
Free SMS Jokes
17-I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
18-How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.
19-For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
